Arranged Marriage?
A 13 year old girl wrote this article.
Arranged Marriage?
No Way! May be! Yes! Why Not!

What is an arranged marriage?
Arranged marriages are arranged by two families when the children are young in India. Some say it is not love at the beginning but love starts to appear and then grows as the husband and wife get to know each other. I am not entirely for that opinion because I think that sometimes an arranged marriage cannot grow into love because the two people have nothing in common apart from the fact that both were chosen by their respective parents or other elders in the family. On the other hand the statistics show that there are less divorces when marriage is an arranged one.

Love marriages among Indians in the UK at the present moment have a higher divorce rate than the Indian arranged marriages. I wonder if it is because the young men and women are bad at choosing the partner who they want for themselves and their families. Therefore choosing the right partner is a tricky question.

The other issue of arranged marriages is that generally, it is a marriage of two families rather than love i.e. two families marry rather than two individuals marrying. In western society it is two persons marrying for love rather than the family. In Jewish customs it is more of an arranged marriage.

The divorce rate in Britain is almost two in every three i.e. over 60%. Divorce rate among Indian arranged marriages is less than one in three. That does not mean that Indian arranged marriages are more successful than the love marriages. We do not know how many couples do not get along and are forced to remain together through family pressure. Official figures may show that arranged marriages are more successful because the divorce rate is low. However, there is a catch. Disharmony amongst arranged marriages is quite profound due to family pressure. Therefore people who go through the arranged type of marriage have to live in an extended family. There is also the burden of looking after the in-laws. The young couple cannot be themselves or do what they want to do.

Here are some points to think about.

  • Do what you want! Life comes once, marriage comes many a time but succeeds only once.
  • No way!!! Marriage is the best part of life; do not spoil it by listening to someone else
  • Follow your heart not your mind or someone else's heart.
  • It's either I will or I will not. Don't make it bigger than it seems.
  • Beware of the consequences you may have to face!

So we have a variety of options.

  • Some may go for "I can't be bothered, let my family do the work." That shows laziness of heart and mind but also trust in family.
  • Others may say "It is my life no one else's so let me rule it my way!" That shows a wild and easily excited mind alongside a little anger.
  • How about this "My family comes first, then myself." That shows no independent thinking but a steady mind.
  • And lastly, what about this: I'm in love but. I can't!" This is very tricky. It shows that those who go for arranged marriage lack in courage.

No one can make your mind up for you; but the world is changing everyday and Indians are becoming more modernised. Gradually the arranged marriage custom might just disappear in future. Love marriages may bring happiness but are short-lived.

Arranged marriages are long lasting; but may seem more painful. As a philosopher has said, " Happiness is always short-lived; but unhappiness always seems like never ending. It is all in the mind." So put your heart and mind together and take a plunge when the time comes.